Name and Own Your Own Star Gift

For millennia human beings have been dazzled and intrigued by the vastness of space and the multitude of heavenly bodies therein.  Or, as early 19^th century English poet Jane Taylor once put it:

Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,

Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky

Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.

It would indeed be a fabulous gift, to name and own a diamond from the sky. But this gift is much more crap than that.

Suitable for:
Anyone with eyes
Romantic fools
Egomaniacs
Astronauts

INSTRUCTIONS

• Wait for a clear, dark night.
• Go somewhere where you can actually see the stars in the sky
• Look up into that chilling vastness and pick out the brightest, most sparking star you can see
• Take a photo (zoom in as best you can, if your camera’s not too crap to close up)
• If you see something carving a glowing arc across the heavens – this is not a star.
• It’s either:
  • The end of the world
  • A rock
  • A satellite
  • A bit of some space station
  • Aliens
• Pick something else to photograph.
• Don’t bother checking on any astrological charts or star maps when you get back home. A gift this crap won’t stand up to any scrutiny. Basically, any spot of light up there’s a star, right?! Right.
• Print out a photo of your star, give it a name (yes, you can call it Roger if you really want to)
• Frame it and put it on the wall.
• Congratulations – you now Own Your Own Named Star

Bespoke your Star Gift

You can’t. This gift is so crap there’s no way to improve it.

This gift on the crap scale sits at 8

Love this star gift, then you might like our Apollo Astronaut Training