Snail Racing Gift

Snail Racing Gift – the sport of kings. Well, it might have been if any of them had ever heard of it.

It’s a competitive sport for people that aren’t in a hurry. But think of the excitement, the buzz! This is not the sort of crap that usually happens in suburbia. You’ll have people beating down your door to take part.*

It can take hours to get a result which is a little bit crap, but a snail’s a snail at the end of the day, it’s only got one speed.

Suitable for:
People with an aversion to anything exciting
Very, very old people
Terminal gamblers
People called Briony

INSTRUCTIONS

• Snail selection – start looking outside. Night-time is best, but if you’re scared of the dark try during the day after it’s rained. They lurk about under things, rocks, garden furniture, bits of wood, hedges. (IMPORTANT – if it hasn’t got a shell on its back it’s a slug. They do NOT get to play)
• Set up the racetrack – use the one we’ve provided or make one of your own
• Place the snails at the start line, make sure they’re facing in the right direction and aren’t dead
• Start the race in the traditional manner by saying – Ready, Steady, Slow
• Shouting encouragement is optional
• Come back and check your snails progress periodically
• The snail that crosses the finish line first wins
• Congratulations – you’re now an expert at Snail Racing Gift

Bespoke your Snail Racing Gift

Why not go large? Don’t limit yourself to just one race. Organise a league. The Snail Olympics are just a sobriety test away.

Before you leave

If you’re buying this gift for someone we’re pretty sure they’ll be blown away by our similar crap gift Paper Aeroplane Racing too. Why not take advantage of our special offer and get them both?