Ballooning Experience

 The Balloon (ing) gift is consistently voted one of our top five crapest gifts of the month, which is some achievement. That’s how truly crap this gift is. Would you really think that a ballooning experience would be that bad – well there’s only one way to find out – get that balloon and go high high high.

This is the gift of one balloon. A wrinkled little bit of rubber? Or the gateway to a world of magical possibilities? Only you can decide.

Are you going to embrace your destiny and make of it the best ballooning experience it can be?

Or are you going to be crap about it?*

 Suitable for:
The risk averse
People from Milton Keynes
Thor
Tiny little people (must supply own basket)**

INSTRUCTIONS

• Take the balloon out of the envelope
• Find yourself a piece of very lightweight string
• Carefully inflate the balloon (blow into the open end until the balloon is bigger than it is now, but not so big that it explodes in your face)
• Once the balloon is the correct size pinch the end closed and tie in a knot***
• Attach the piece of string to the end of the balloon
• Run up and down in the garden towing the balloon on a string behind you and whooping with joy
• Congratulations! You are Balloon (ing)

Bespoke your Gift

Go large and really impress the neighbours. Take yourself off to your local supermarket and buy yourself a helium balloon. It comes with its own string and floats effortlessly above your head.

DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU ARE A TINY LITTLE PERSON, THIS THING WILL FLOAT UP SO HIGH YOU’LL FREEZE TO DEATH IN MINUTES.

Our Ballooning Experience Gift sits of the crap scale at number 9

Another experience gift you might like is the paddling