Watch Paint Dry Gift

 You could argue that a watch paint dry gift is a deconstructed modern day meditation technique that will, eventually and in a deeply unfathomable way, lead the practitioner into a state of transcendently bliss utterly in tune with their spiritual values.  You could argue that – but it’d be crap.

Fact of the day – In 2013 The Philadelphia Flyers Ice Hockey Team set the first world record for Most People Watching Paint Dry when 195 incredibly bored people stood and watched the paint dry.

This is not made up crap, it’s a fact.

Suitable for:
Risk Assessors
People with a high boredom threshold
Simpletons
Men called Mark (or George)

Watching Paint Dry might not be the crapest gift there’s ever been, but rest assured, it’s right up there.

INSTRUCTIONS

• Go and get a paint brush and some old paint out of the garage, up the attic, in the shed or wherever you threw it after the last decorating debacle.
• If you haven’t got any old paint lying around then you’ll have to get some. Try asking older relatives, friends, colleagues, the help.
• Find somewhere to paint that’s easily accessible.
• We suggest using your own property when deciding where to lay your paint, but if you’ve got somewhere specific in mind that won’t get you arrested, go for it
• Apply paint to your chosen surface
• B. The larger area you paint, the longer it’ll take to dry. You set your own limits.
• Sit at a comfortable distance from the wall once painting is completed.
• Congratulations! Now you can Watch Paint Dry

Upgrade your Gift

This is a gift that’s made for sharing with company. Why not hold a painting party? See if you can beat the world record of 195 people in there with you. Imagine, you could have people watching paint dry from every conceivable angle. And if that’s not crap, we don’t know what is

Love this gift?  We’re pretty sure you’ll be equally blown away by our gift Watch Grass Grow. Why not take advantage of our crap special offer and get them both? ^XX