Gym Experience

Just look at that BELLY, surely this Gym Experience is the perfect gift for you..?

NOT GUARANTEED to give you a six pack, big guns, instant sex appeal or sweaty armpits.

NO YEARLY MEMBERSHIP FOR LIFE

Personal Trainer Advice – If you find the enclosed weights a wee bit light you can choose something in the house heavier. Now if you are
a hippy, everything will seem heavy man….but that’s not the case, start with lighter bags of sugar, cans of food, the dog (this one I would try
not to drop). A good idea if you have an upstairs toilet is to take some laxatives, wait then boom, plenty of running up and down stairs, burn
those calories!

GYM Rules

Put your weights away after use, nothing worse than looking in the cupboard and not being able to find the sugar or tins of food.
Don’t renew your membership each year as there isn’t one.
Help anyone who’s struggling, if they need a cake get them one, if they need to suddenly run upstairs get out of the way.
Beware of people with curly hair… they are not all Joe Wicks some are people from Liverpool…

Nutritional Advice
Now Joe Wicks will tell you it’s all about carbs, protein etc.. well it doesn’t have to be. SUGAR is key it’s fuel for the body, like filling your car
up with high octane fuel… you will go faster and longer… Just got to look at the animal world, ants run around like mad men never stopping, and the thing they crave the most and eat is SUGAR… you will never see a FAT ANT..

Option 1
Carefully cut these gym equipment items out, wearing some skimpy shorts and a vest, lift the weights slowly and carefully for 25 minutes for your gym workout. Then sit next to a radiator on full with a coat and leggings on until very sweaty, remove coat and leggings get a bowl of chicken pasta, then walk up to your friends impressing them with just how hard your gym workout was and how you are carb loading afterwards.

Option 2
Stick your head on the body – take a close up picture on your phone and impress your friends… no need for an app, but you do need a printer, some scissors, sellotape or glue. (old skool?)

If you’ve enjoyed buying this gift, then why not check out our equally as crap present the Ultimate Dirty Weekend Experience