Battleships Game



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Enjoy hours of fun with our Battleships Game.  The classic Naval combat game with a slight difference.  Remember this is Crap Presents, so you can’t expect to get the normal game – it is just a bit of fun.  Whether you can have hours and hours of playing this, who knows, but you certainly will have some laughs.

First of all, you are going to need some scissors (best make sure you are old enough and safe enough to use them – if not then you might need to find someone who is – we are not taking any responsibility for cut fingers) cut our the grid very carefully along the dotted lines (we’ve even put scissor icons to help you with this), then cut out your vessels and explosions (again be careful).  Place your vessels on the bottom of the sea grid occupying 4 squares either horizontal or vertical.  Now with your opponents boats in place take turns calling out a coordinate (ie: B2), if you hit a boat place an explosion on the top grid with something sticky (not grandma’s denture fix). The winner is the person who sinks everyone’s vessels.

Now by now you would have found out what is different with our Battleship Game – if you want to win, then make sure that you go first in this game.

If you like this game, then why not buy one of our other games Snakes and Ladders – this you can have even more fun and laughs.


Crap Presents Delivery Information

We do only post within the UK

We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode

Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.

We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.

Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)

We post Monday to Friday ONLY.

The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.

We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.

If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.

The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.


Q: What is in the crap present ?

A: well… not a lot really…  you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.

Q: How big is the present ?

A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.

Q: Are the Crap Presents really crap ?

A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand