Description
Surfing Experience
If you’ve surfed into this gift and you find yourself thinking ‘this is not a surfing holiday with sun, sea and surf is it?’ You’d be right.
And then, if you found yourself thinking ‘this is some piece of crap channel surfing thing isn’t it?’ You’d be right again.
And now you know what this experience involves you can be pretty sure that when it comes to the ‘who bought the crapest gift of the year’ awards, you’re going to be top of the pile.
Suitable for:
People called Hector
The indecisive
Everyone at the Summerfield Asylum (including the staff)
People with a short attention span
INSTRUCTIONS
Traditional Surfing
- Get into some loose fitting clothes
- Pick your chair/sofa/floor space in front of the TV
- Grab hold of any food and drink you might need and set them close to where you’ll be sitting
- Do the same with the TV remote
- Sit down, get comfortable and switch on the TV.
- Start viewing and when you’re ready – surf, surf away.**
- Congratulations! You have had a Surfing Experience
Tech Savvy Surfing
- Get into some loose fitting clothes
- Pick your chair/sofa
- Grab hold of any food and drink you might need and set them close to where you’ll be sitting
- Sit down, get comfortable and switch on your desktop/laptop/device
- Open Google – pick a topic and when you’re ready – surf those billions of pages of web wonderfulness**
- Congratulations! You have had an experience of surfing
Bespoke your Gift
If all that screen time is too much to bear, why not go for some real surfing?1
- Lay an ironing board down on the ground.
- Stick a desk fan somewhere about head height pointing at you
- Switch on the fan, then assume a surfing pose on the ironing board – Surfs Up!
- For extra realism, have a friend rush in after a few seconds and throw a bucket of water at your head.
Like water gifts – then why not try our paddling experience
delivery
Crap Presents Delivery Information
We do only post within the UK
We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode
Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.
We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.
Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)
We post Monday to Friday ONLY.
The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.
We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.
If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.
The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.
FAQ's
Q: What is in the crap present ?
A: well… not a lot really… you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.
Q: How big is the present ?
A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.
Q: Are the Crap Presents really crap ?
A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand
Q: Am I really going to be going surfing with sun, sea and surf?
A: Oh come off it – remember this is crap, it’s in the name Crap Presents.
