Watch Grass Grow Gift

£5.99

4
Scales
Stand

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Description

Watch Grass Grow Gift

The daily routine of work, shop, eat, sleep can make you feel like a rat in a trap.  Now you can help a rat you know leave behind the horrors of the concrete jungle. This contemporary outdoor watch grass grow gift will guide the recipient into an almost zen like state of relaxation.  Or will it? It’s a pretty crap thing to do.

But with thousands of suitable locations to be found in every part of the country, getting down with the grass can be achieved in a matter of minutes.

A wise man once said – the most relaxing thing that you can do is to step outside, do nothing and enjoy nature. And really, watching the grass grow is a crap way of enjoying nature.

Suitable for:
Anyone you want to get out of the house
People with short term memory problems
Golfers
Old people

INSTRUCTIONS

  • We recommend a warm summers day, but hell, you choose
  • Go outside
  • If you’ve got friends why not take them with you?
  • Why not take a picnic?!
  • Find somewhere where there’s grass
  • Sit down, lie down, get comfortable
  • Put down your phone/girlfriend/pork pie and focus on some grass
  • Congratulations – you are now able to Watch Grass Grow

Bespoke your Gift

To get the most out of this crappy gift why not specify the location to be visited. Consider the availability of cow pats, the wetness of the grass, the presence of dog walkers or the fact that there’s standing water nearby. Or maybe, for a real crap surprise, send them to some grass underneath trees where birds regularly gather.

You are going to have such fun with this amazing crap gift that we believe you are going to love our watch paint dry gift – it’s equally as crap

delivery

Crap Presents Delivery Information

We do only post within the UK

We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode

Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.

We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.

Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)

We post Monday to Friday ONLY.

The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.

We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.

If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.

The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.

FAQ's

Q: What is in the crap present ?

A: well… not a lot really…  you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.

Q: How big is the present ?

A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.

Q: Are the Crap Presents really crap ?

A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand

 

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