Ballooning Experience



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Ballooning Experience

 The Balloon (ing) gift is consistently voted one of our top five crapest gifts of the month, which is some achievement. That’s how truly crap this gift is. Would you really think that a ballooning experience would be that bad – well there’s only one way to find out – get that balloon and go high high high.

This is the gift of one balloon. A wrinkled little bit of rubber? Or the gateway to a world of magical possibilities? Only you can decide.

Are you going to embrace your destiny and make of it the best ballooning experience it can be?

Or are you going to be crap about it?*

 Suitable for:
The risk averse
People from Milton Keynes
Tiny little people (must supply own basket)**



  • Take the balloon out of the envelope
  • Find yourself a piece of very lightweight string
  • Carefully inflate the balloon (blow into the open end until the balloon is bigger than it is now, but not so big that it explodes in your face)
  • Once the balloon is the correct size pinch the end closed and tie in a knot***
  • Attach the piece of string to the end of the balloon
  • Run up and down in the garden towing the balloon on a string behind you and whooping with joy
  • Congratulations! You are Balloon (ing)


Bespoke your Gift

Go large and really impress the neighbours. Take yourself off to your local supermarket and buy yourself a helium balloon. It comes with its own string and floats effortlessly above your head.


Our Ballooning Experience Gift sits of the crap scale at number 9

Another experience gift you might like is the paddling


Crap Presents Delivery Information

We do only post within the UK

We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode

Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.

We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.

Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)

We post Monday to Friday ONLY.

The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.

We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.

If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.

The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.


Q: What is in the crap present ?

A: well… not a lot really…  you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.

Q: How big is the present ?

A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.

Q: Are the Crap Presents really crap ?

A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand


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