Description
Watch Paint Dry Gift
You could argue that a watch paint dry gift is a deconstructed modern day meditation technique that will, eventually and in a deeply unfathomable way, lead the practitioner into a state of transcendently bliss utterly in tune with their spiritual values. You could argue that – but it’d be crap.
Fact of the day – In 2013 The Philadelphia Flyers Ice Hockey Team set the first world record for Most People Watching Paint Dry when 195 incredibly bored people stood and watched the paint dry.
This is not made up crap, it’s a fact.
Suitable for:
Risk Assessors
People with a high boredom threshold
Simpletons
Men called Mark (or George)
Watching Paint Dry might not be the crapest gift there’s ever been, but rest assured, it’s right up there.
INSTRUCTIONS
- Go and get a paint brush and some old paint out of the garage, up the attic, in the shed or wherever you threw it after the last decorating debacle.
- If you haven’t got any old paint lying around then you’ll have to get some. Try asking older relatives, friends, colleagues, the help.
- Find somewhere to paint that’s easily accessible.
- We suggest using your own property when deciding where to lay your paint, but if you’ve got somewhere specific in mind that won’t get you arrested, go for it
- Apply paint to your chosen surface
- B. The larger area you paint, the longer it’ll take to dry. You set your own limits.
- Sit at a comfortable distance from the wall once painting is completed.
- Congratulations! Now you can Watch Paint Dry
Upgrade your Gift
This is a gift that’s made for sharing with company. Why not hold a painting party? See if you can beat the world record of 195 people in there with you. Imagine, you could have people watching paint dry from every conceivable angle. And if that’s not crap, we don’t know what is
Love this gift? We’re pretty sure you’ll be equally blown away by our gift Watch Grass Grow. Why not take advantage of our crap special offer and get them both? XX
delivery
Crap Presents Delivery Information
We do only post within the UK
We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode
Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.
We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.
Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)
We post Monday to Friday ONLY.
The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.
We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.
If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.
The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.
FAQ's
Q: What is in the crap present ?
A: well… not a lot really… you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.
Q: How big is the present ?
A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.
Q: Are the Crap Presents really crap ?
A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand
