Boating Experience

£5.99

9
Scales
Stand

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Description

Boating Experience

If you’re visualising someone drifting along an Oxford river on a punt being gently propelled by a bronzed Adonis on an idyllic summer’s day,  you’re going to be sadly disappointed.  Our boating experience is a little bit different to that – in fact it’s quite a lot different.

It’s not an excursion in a rowing boat along the beautiful River Dee either. Or a cruise on a motorboat through the frothy seas. Or a speedboat race.

What we’re offering is the crapest loosest interpretation of the words boating and experience.

In fact, putting the words next to each other like they’re some kind of a thing is really pushing it a bit.

Suitable for:
Aquaphobics
Any man over the age of 30
Thalassophobics
Small boys

INSTRUCTIONS

  • Choose where you’re going to have your boating experience (we’d recommend somewhere with water)
  • Make up the two boats that we’ve provided
  • Get yourself down to your chosen location (a breezy day will add some excitement)
  • If you’re taking friends along, why not grab a handful of pebbles when no-one’s looking
  • Line yourself up by the water’s edge, hold the boat until you’re ready, then RELEASE!
  • Be realistic – you probably won’t be taking your boats home again
  • Congratulations! You’ve had a Boating Experience

Bespoke your Gift

Go big or home. When not invite some friends to build their own boats and take up the racing challenge. You could even offer a prize for the winner. Don’t go crazy.

Love this gift, then you may also like our World Cup Final Tickets Gift

delivery

Crap Presents Delivery Information

We do only post within the UK

We do post to BFPO (British Forces Post Office) addresses, as long as it has a UK postcode

Envelopes are provided loose inside the postage envelope for you to use, if the crap present is not personalised and delivered directly, as specified during the checkout process.

We post ALL Crap Presents second class. This is the ONLY postal service we provide – we do not offer an alternative crap service.

Once the purchase has been made, they are posted the next working day. (i.e, if ordered on a Monday, we will be posting the item on the following Tuesday). If an order has been made on a Friday, this will be posted the following Monday. (unless this is a bank holiday and then we wont bother)

We post Monday to Friday ONLY.

The postal service is provided by Royal Mail and they claim to deliver the item the following day after posting, although the service can take anytime up to 5 WORKING DAYS.

We don’t have any control over the service Royal Mail provide – although we are always happy to help if the item has still not arrived after the 5 WORKING DAYS. Our Crap Presents are usually received within 2-3 working days.

If you have NOT received your order within 5 WORKING DAYS, please do contact us as there may have been an issue with the postal service. Our presents may be crap but we will do our best to help.

The address we use to post to comes from the details on you order – therefore please ensure these details are correct at the time of purchase as we cannot change the address once it has been posted. Please do contact us asap if you need to change the address information via email. We will confirm your details have been changed if we can and please allow a few hours for us to confirm receipt of your request.

FAQ's

Q: What is in the crap present ?

A: well… not a lot really…  you will get a special certificate which you can write on yourself or we can personalise in crayon before posting. Then the gift which provides all the information and instructions as to how to fully enjoy the gift, where to go and what to do. We also provide additional really crap bits to enhance the experience and make it really special.

Q: How big is the present ?

A: This all comes in a C5 blue envelope… so you cant miss it. Dont get your expectations to high as it is crap, but we hope it will give minutes of enjoyment to that special person and make them laugh.

Q: Is this Crap Presents really crap ?

A: YES… not sure which part of Crap you don’t understand

Q: Will I be going on a real boat?

A: Don’t be silly – do you really think a real boat will be used when you’re paying under £10 – well unless you know someone who has a super yacht of course – but that’s not what this gift is about.

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